If you are a parent of a toddler, you can very well relate to this – think of the times your child wanted to desperately have his or her favourite candy at a mall but you decide that they have already had enough for the day. And the child goes down on the floor, crying inconsolably and beating fists on the floor – the child wants to have the candy by hook or crook. Toddlers throwing tantrums at home or while on the road with their parents is not an uncommon sight – and they would behave rather irrationally – throw their toys around, push away food, scream, stomp their feet, try to hit people who they feel are responsible for them being denied a demand. For a parent, the situation is truly difficult to handle. Before understanding how to manage such tantrums, it is essential for parents to know some facts about them.

Understanding toddlers’ tantrums

Imagine if we told you that kids’ tantrums are a good thing. Difficult to believe? Well, here’s something for you to know – tears release cortisol, the stress hormone. Thus, when one cries, they actually get rid of stress. It also lowers blood pressure and improves emotional well-being and sleep (even adults can experience this, though they cry rarely). Also, when a toddler cries, they are trusting you – which is good. It is up to you to use this trust to both your and your child’s advantage.

So how do we manage tantrums? Here are what we believe to be four golden rules.

Identify the cause behind the tantrum

Tantrums are your toddler’s way of communicating what to their young mind could be a legitimate need. It is important for you to assess how legitimate the need appears to you, and depending on your better judgment, you may decide to actually fulfil the need.

But what if the need is not worth fulfilling? In that case.

Ignore the Screams

While doing this, you need to ensure that the kid does not do anything to harm himself/herself. Thus, you need to stay close to the kid while you let the kid cry till they calm themselves. Doing this step is important for two reasons. Firstly, the kid learns to differentiate between what is a good demand and a bad demand. Secondly, they understand that they cannot get every irrational demand satisfied by throwing a tantrum. They learn to take a No for an answer.

Stay Calm. Do not lose your temper

A lot of parents try to calm their kids by a rather negative approach – either they try to scare them into staying calm (Shut up or else!) or they physically hit the child. This could lead to further agitating the child and increase the intensity of the tantrum. Worse, the child begins to bottle up emotions and the bond with you weakens. The ideal thing to do for parents is to stay calm and not get angry, and start reasoning with the toddler once their crying begins to subside. Talk to the child in a gentle but firm voice. Your toddler will begin to mature through such sensitive parenting, but remember, you have to be patient. The results will take time to showcase themselves.

Engage Toddlers positively

It is important that you try to find ways to prevent tantrums. Try to find fun activities that your toddler enjoys doing – it could be painting or some ball game. You could initiate them into hobbies, read out stories to them. You could also try to get them interested in a wide variety of topics and begin to build their curiosity for learning.

Apart from these tips, it is important to know that a kid throws tantrums because they want their parents around and experience their love and care. It is important that you recognize this and give them what they truly deserve. The age in which kids throw tantrums passes fast, and you would not want to miss out on the joy of being with them and for them during their innocent years.